Brazilian Wandering Spider

This little beauty is not only the world’s most venomous spider, according to the Guinness Book of World Records, but is also believed to be responsible for the most human deaths. These deadly arachnids got their name because, unlike most spiders, they don’t hang out in a web or a lair at night, but wander the jungle floor looking for prey—though these pests are increasingly found in cities. During the day Wandering Spiders hide in termite mounds, under logs or sometimes in banana plants.

The venom these spiders produce is similar to the neurotoxin found in Black Widow Spiders, causing pain, cold sweats and an irregular heart beat. It’s believed that between the year 1970 and 1980 Brazilian Wandering Spiders were responsible for hospitalizing about 7,000 people in southern Brazil.
If it doesn’t manage to kill you, however, there are some pretty embarrassing side effects that come with this spider bite.

Click here to view the embedded video.

(You can skip ahead to 1:30 for the good stuff.)

Africanized Honey Bee (a.k.a. Killer Bees)

The world is full of dangerous things that can kill us, but we only have ourselves to blame for this one folks. Back in the day settlers in North and South America wanted a hardy bee that produced a lot of honey. Well, European bees were bigger and produced more honey, but they were kind of frail. African bees, though tough, were much smaller.
So to get the best of both worlds, they bred these two bees together. This produced a race of large, very aggressive honey bees with a habit of absconding (or abandoning their hives to start new ones elsewhere). These bees are hyper-defensive and attack relentlessly in giant swarms when threatened.

If an Africanized honey bee stings you they not only release their venom, but they release a banana-scented pheromone which signals the other bees to attack.  You can withstand approximately 7 stings for every pound you weigh before your life is in serious danger. These bees have been known to swarm and attack as far as ¼ mile from their hive, and can sting up to 500 times in 30 seconds.  You do the math.

These bees used to dwell mostly in South America, but have been migrating further and further north in recent years.

Giant Japanese Hornet (a.k.a Asian Hornet)

No, that picture isn’t Photoshopped. The bug is really that big. When these puppies aren’t picking fights with entire bee hives or eating honey bee larva, they can be found stinging annoying humans in the Tokyo region with their 6mm stingers (that’s about a quarter inch).

Not only are these bugs frighteningly big, but they’re also frighteningly dangerous. Giant hornet venom is more potent than that of its smaller, puny relatives; it’s a mixture of acetylcholine—which causes a lot of pain—and an enzyme that’s capable of dissolving human flesh. People who have experienced being bitten by these bugs say it feels like a hot nail being driven through your flesh. And once you’ve pissed one of these guys off it will chase you for over three miles. Each year in Japan, Giant Hornets kill more people than all other venomous and non-venomous animals combined.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Siafu Ants

Found mostly in central and east Africa, these ants aren’t so tough on their own. Problem is, you’re not very likely to find one of these little guys by themselves. Siafu Ants live in giant colonies of about 20 million individuals.

When food gets low the ants set out in search of food in columns that can consist of as many as 50 million ants. And that’s when you don’t want to mess with them. The columns defend themselves viciously, and have a military structure complete with sentries that set up a perimeter corridor to protect the smaller members of the colony. You’re not in too much trouble as long as you can run away from a column, but if you’re sick or debilitated or just generally stuck in one place these ants can kill you and consume your entire body. Most people die of asphyxiation rather than the painful venomous bite. These ants have such powerful jaws that in East Africa, people used them to perform emergency sutures.

Bullet Ant

So maybe swarms of tiny ants don’t scare you. How about this giant screaming mofo? That’s right, screaming. Bullet Ants hail from the low land rainforests of Nicaragua and Paraguay. Each ant is about an inch long and lives in a tree colony. When a predator approaches the colony some of these bad boys drop down onto it, letting out a shriek before they do.
While not the deadliest insect, the Bullet Ant’s sting is said to be the most painful in the world, according to the Schmidt Sting Pain Index. The insect’s sting causes waves of burning, throbbing, mind-blowing, pain that doesn’t stop for 24 hours. It hurts so much it feels like you’ve been shot with a bullet (Get it? Bullet Ant?)

Some South American societies use the Bullet Ant to test the manhood of young boys, making them endure 20 stings without crying out before they can be considered men. Some white people think that sounds cool and decide to do it just for kicks.

Click here to view the embedded video.

African Assassin Bug

This brightly-coloured bug is said to have venom 10 times more potent than a cobra, which it can either spit at or inject into its prey. One bug won’t kill a human, but get bit by enough and you’ll be in trouble.

The Assassin Bug’s venom, rather than paralyzing its prey, will liquefy their insides. It uses its proboscis to suck the liquid insides from its prey or to bite unsuspecting human beings. The Assassin hunts by covering itself with the dead bodies of past meals. When an unsuspecting insect wanders by and thinks one of the empty bug husks looks tasty, the Assassin Bug dumps the decoys and pounces.

Some brave—or crazy—humans have taken to keeping these bugs as pets because they can control most pest problems very efficiently. Other people keep them as pets so they can videotape them hunting, set it to whimsical music and post it all on YouTube.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Kissing bugs

These bugs aren’t really deadly because of their venom or because they’re particularly fearsome. Kissing bugs are dangerous because they infect human beings with Chaga’s disease. These insects don’t die after biting so it’s possible for them to bite multiple humans and pass the Chaga’s parasite along.  The bugs hide inside houses and drops down onto people while they’re sleeping, biting the soft tissue of the lips and eyes. Chaga’s disease, however, is actually passed to a new host through the bug’s feces that enter the human body through the wounds it inflicts.

As of 2008, 16 to 18 million people were infected with the disease, with 20,000 dying of the affliction yearly. Chaga’s causes sever heart damage. Heart transplants for victims are ineffective because the parasite just ruins the new heart as well.

Mosquito

Okay, so we’ve all seen Mosquitoes before and they’re not particularly terrifying. But their kill rate certainly should scare you. These blood suckers kill more people than all of the flying menaces and deadly spiders combined. Mosquitoes pass along diseases like yellow fever, denegue fever, Chikungunya, West Nile virus and the ever popular malaria. It’s estimated that in Africa alone mosquitos are responsible for infecting 700 million people with disease, killing 2 million in their infectious wake.

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Thanks to advancements in medicine, the dwindling popularity of smoking and a general emphasis on staying as fit and healthy as possible, men now have 77.6 years of life to look forward to.  And as more and more men gear their lives towards early retirement, they potentially gain two extra decades to roam this earth, pockets full of cash and all the time in the world.  They should be careful, however, as many men who retire from their jobs retire from life as well, pulling their plaid pants up to their nipples, complaining that their shuffle board scores are too low, their apple sauce too sweet.

The following is a guide for men on how to remain men after retirement.  Just because you’re older, doesn’t mean you’re too old. Just because you’re weaker, doesn’t mean you’re weak. And just because you no longer have teeth, doesn’t mean you can’t eat steak.  Don’t become the man who retires and suddenly has nothing to do, become the man who retires and doesn’t understand how he ever had time for a job.

Men Who Maintained Their Manhood After Retirement

Aside from the fact that when he was working he was a mechanical engineer, an Air Force Pilot, AND a freaking moon-walking astronaut, there is almost no better example than Buzz Aldrin for men who’ve maintained their manliness well after retirement.  He has since written two autobiographies; he’s appeared on “Dancing With the Stars,” gracing the dance floor with a bombshell who was only born 30 years after he retired; he recorded a rap song featuring Snoop Dog, Quincy Jones, Talib Kweli and Soulja Boy; he played himself on “The Simpsons”; AND (hopefully one day you’ll earn two fully capitalized “ands” in your bio) he punched an annoying filmmaker in the face.

Click here to view the embedded video.

If Buzz Aldrin fails to light the fire under your saddle, take inspiration from men who refused to retire.  Pop “Grand Turino” into the old DVD player and take notes.  Watch Jack Palance’s acceptance speech during the 1992 Academy Awards, where the 73 year-old dropped to the floor (wait for it) to deliver a set of one-armed push ups!  “As far as the two-handed push ups are concerned, you can do those all night! And it doesn’t make a difference whether she’s there or not.”  Rest in peace you tough son of a bitch.

Ways to Maintain Your Manhood After Retirement

The men highlighted above are merely super high-profile examples of what is possible.
The actual nuts and bolts of maintaining your manliness after hanging up your stethoscope, chainsaw (NEVER hang up your chainsaw), laptop – or whatever implement you use to take care of business – aren’t too difficult to manage. The following are just a few ideas to get you started.

Get Your Pilot’s License

“I’m a pilot” is easily one of the manliest sentences in the English language, right up there with “This is where the shark bit me before I punched it.”  In fact, whether you’re in the military or a civilian, a pilot, an aviator or simply working as an aircrew, once you’re in the flying field you can officially call yourself: an Airman.  With no age restriction on learning how to fly, all one needs is plenty of spare time, and a little money to throw around.

According to the Federal Aviation Administration, the first step to becoming a pilot is choosing what you want to fly.  According to me, the second step to becoming a manly pilot is choosing a vehicle made of metal like a plane or a helicopter, as opposed to one made of fabric, like a hand glider or a hot air balloon.  Once you’ve picked your plane and found a school (most airports offer pilot training), you are 35 training hours away from obtaining your private pilot certificate from an FAA-approved school.

So get off the couch and into the cockpit, ‘cause nothing exudes manliness like “Hey honey, wanna fly to New York for dinner?”

Become an Old Ninja

Joint fluidity, tendon flexibility, balance, muscle strength and overall mobility are not only crucial for maintaining a healthy body at any age, but they are qualities which can transform that rickety frame of yours into a lean, teenager-on-your-grass kicking machine.  It’s never too late to learn a martial art, as they all have beginner levels, and you can develop at your own pace.  If you want to avoid the more contact-heavy courses you can gain much strength, flexibility, and peace of mind from arts like Tai Chi, as well as from non-martial art exercises like Yoga.  Don’t think Yoga is manly?  Tell it to Hugh Jackman, the man behind Wolverine.

Don’t Dress Like a Fogie

Women love a well dressed man.  Period.  It doesn’t matter how old you are.  Just because you no longer have to wear your monkey suit from Monday to Friday, doesn’t mean it’s time to go jogging suit shopping.  You should never lose track of what is fashionable and what reeks of old-fart.  When you go clothes shopping, avoid anything with the words “corduroy,” “tweed,” “turtle neck” and “elbow patches”

Learn to Play an Instrument

Traditionally, picking up the guitar or joining a band is a rite of passage that occurs during a man’s youth. Before becoming jaded and having to deal with the day-to-day responsibilities of adult life, many guys cling to the sincere belief that they will one day “make it” in the world of music. Being older and wiser actually puts you in a far better position when it comes to appreciating music and truly enjoying yourself.  You’re more relaxed.  You’ve hopefully already lived your life to its fullest, so you’ll be learning how to play the guitar, the piano, or the drums for the pure joy of it.  It’s easy to feel as if it’s too late to get good at something like the guitar, but look at it this way:  If you practiced for 1 hour everyday for the next year, you could easily play just about any song at a campfire for your grandkids, making you the coolest granddaddy ever. All three of my uncles are approaching retirement and all three of them are still in bands.  They tell me the adrenaline rush from getting up on stage and performing live keeps them feeling young, and that women of all ages love the man who takes the stage and makes them dance.

The time has come to change the stereotype of the retired old grump, watching his golden years slip from his stool at the local donut shop, with that of the wise hardened man with the twinkle in his eye, surfboard under his arm.  Be the grandpa that the grandkids look up to and talk about to their friends.  Have sex stories that need to be censored with a giant blue Viagra pill.  Grab your post retirement life by the horns, literally if you have to, so that when you are finally dead and buried, you’re gravestone will read “He died doing what he loved:  Bullfighting.”

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Stories of internet vigilantism are becoming increasingly common, and with social networking sites enabling information to travel as fast as a speeding bullet and spread as quickly as gonorrhea, it’s easier than ever for people seeking revenge to take the law into their own hands. Though law officials are trying to keep internet justice under control, bad news travels fast and the word is always out before they can put a stop to it. Here are some notable cases of vigilantism, possible because of social networking.

With close to a half-billion users, Facebook has become the go-to website for Internet Vigilanties itching to dispense some good old vigilante justice.

Justice Served

Internet vigilantes  named and shamed Kenny Christopher Glenn, a 14 year old cat abuser that posted videos of himself and his brother beating the piss out of their cat. A number of internet communities managed to find out his name, where he lived, his phone number and the school he goes to, getting support from around the globe to make sure these kids don’t get away with their blatant cruelty.

eBay Vigilantes

Unhappy with eBay’s failed attempts at eliminating fraudulent eBay activity, an increasing number of upset eBay users have been taking justice into their own hands and becoming eBay vigilantes. Bidding millions of dollars on items they believe to be a sham, they are warning bidders to stay away from faulty auctions by ensuring that no one wins them. Funny thing is eBay is not at all happy about the vigilantes, claiming they are disrupting legitimate auctions. eBay is actually spending more time cracking down on them than they are eBay scammers.

Facebook Vigilantes

Smokey the Teenage Mom

Rebecca Davey, an 18 year old mother was investigated by police after photographs of her six-month old son with a cigarette in his mouth were posted on Facebook. Rebecca then declared her love for her son, writing: ‘Why Would SomeOne Do That To Me U Ollie No was taking U Yur Mine for lyfee Darlinggg Mummy Loves You ’

Poor, poor child…

Cat Killers Convected

Back in 2008, four teenage boys/evil horrible shitheads were accused of killing a cat by putting it in a microwave. Facebook vigilantes then decided to name and identity the accused on several Facebook pages.

One person set up a hate group and wrote, “I think people like that should be shot.” Another person, who originally posted the names, wrote: “They will all get their faces smashed in by January 6th.”

The problem is that the act of identifying individuals charged under the Youth Criminal Justice Act is illegal and could lead to criminals getting off on petty technicalities. Moreover, ignorance cannot be used as a defense. Technology is creating new legal scenarios for lawyers and judges — particularly sites like Facebook, which allow users to self-publish. A person convicted could well face a more severe sentence from a judge.

Baby P’s Revenge

Peter Connelly (also known as “Baby P” and “Baby Peter”) was a 2 year old boy who died in London after suffering more than 50 injuries over an eight-month period. Peter’s mother, Tracey Connelly, her boyfriend, Steven Barker, and Jason Owen (revealed to be the brother of Barker) were all convicted of causing or allowing the death of a child. The identities of the convicted were circulating via unofficial news websites and social networking sites. Online vigilantes began a campaign calling for violent retribution.

One Facebook group was entitled “Death is too good for [the mother's name], torture the bitch that killed Baby P”. Another that carried the name said “Baby P killers should be hanged Drawn and Quartered”. Facebook shut down pages carrying threats and abusive comments about the mother after thousands of users subscribed to groups carrying the names of the couple and Jason Owen.

Twisted Fire Starter

Authorities charged Brendan Sokaluk, a 39-year-old who once served as a volunteer fighter of lighting one of Australia’s deadly wildfires that killed a total of more than 180 people in Australia. FB vigilantes revealed the Aussie wildfire starter’s photo and address, threatening his life. At least two Facebook groups have been created to name and shame the alleged arsonist, and thousands of Facebook users have joined them.

Police in Victoria demanded Facebook remove Sokaluk’s details and urged people to let them do their job.

Twitterlantes

26 year old Paul Chambers was arrested after joking about blowing up Doncaster’s Robin Hood Airport after his flight got delayed and decided to write this in a tweet:

“‘Crap! Robin Hood airport is closed. You’ve got a week and a bit to get your shit together, otherwise I’m blowing the airport sky high”

Police were alerted to the Tweets, and Mr. Chambers was arrested. He was held under UK anti-terror laws, and locked up for seven hours. He was eventually released on bail, and will have to appear in court on February 11th. Worst of all (for him), he has been banned for life from Robin Hood airport and has been suspended from his job.

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One of the only scenarios I could imagine where I’d end up in prison is if I got into some sort of street brawl with a hooligan, and I ended up seriously injuring or killing my attacker.  Aside from the weather, there are few things in this world more chaotic than violence.  Someone tries to swing at you, you step aside and throw him into a lamp post, he falls and cracks his skull on the pavement, turning his brain to pudding, and now you’ve got the right to remain silent.    Hopefully an emergency response team arrives in time.  You were trying to defend yourself from a mugger, now you’re defending yourself in a court of law.

Of course when it comes to self-defense I’ve always believed in the expression “Better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.” If your life is being threatened, you need to do whatever it takes to survive, and you can’t have your sharpest instincts about you if your head is all muddled with thoughts of legal ramifications.  However, if you can prove that your attacker encroached on your personal space, to the point where you felt threatened, you will be more justified in how you dealt with them. This is why before any violent encounter you should have already defined what your “limits” are.  In the U.S. if you beat a burglar’s head in with a 9 Iron, all you have say is “they were on my property, and I was defending my family.”  The same applies if you break someone’s arm in three places, you’ll need to prove how “they were in my space, and I was defending my body.”  One example of someone infiltrating your space is someone laying their hands on you or grabbing you in any way.  You should consider this a strike that has already landed, and you should react accordingly.

But on the street you’ll also need to prove that you:

1. Did everything you could to verbally de-escalate the situation.
2. Could not escape and was responding to your attacker’s levels of aggression.
3. Felt that your life was in danger.

The Use of Weapons

All this being said, when is it okay to use a weapon on an attacker, and which weapons are acceptable to carry on your person at all times?  We’ve used this graphic before, but it serves as an effective indicator as to when weapons can come into play without getting you into legal hot water:

Technically anything you can find can turn into a weapon.  As all three Bourne movies have proven you can cause consideral damage to an opponent using a pen, a book, or a magazine, and these of course do not limit you from using your wallet, keys, your cell phone (for calling 9-11 or as a beating tool), or an umbrella to ward off an attacker.

Click here to view the embedded video.

As for actual weapons you are legally allowed to carry, the laws vary from state to state, province to province.  For example in some states it is perfectly acceptable to carry pepper spray, a taser, extendable batons, knives, throwing stars and even a hand gun, as long as you have the appropriate paperwork and authorization to do so.  While in others, knives, tasers, batons and guns are strictly prohibited.

So before you start roaming the streets at night with your shotgun and a pocket full of ninja stars, make sure they’re legal, make sure you’re trained in how to use them, and make sure to only pull out your weapons as a last resort.  Remember, the goal is to survive, not to brutally beat someone into an unrecognizable pulp.  In a world where you can get sued or even go to prison for defending yourself, make sure to define you physical limits, to keep in mind the amount of force needed for every level of aggression, and to know the laws concerning concealed weapons in your neck of the woods.  Once these things are solidified in the back of your mind, you can focus all your attention on the deconstruction of your assailant.

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Retraining and Employment

One of the most critical issues in determining whether an ex-prisoner can successfully re-enter society is their training and employment. Prisons often fail to provide any type of job training to prisoners, which means they leave prison without any way to earn a living. Recidivism rates of prisoners involved in job and vocational training during their stint in jail are generally 20-60 percent lower than those of prisoners released without the additional training. Some states, such as Illinois and Virginia, are successfully reducing recidivism rates by providing programs that help train prisoners and find them jobs after their release. Programs like these are crucial to help ensure the successful re-integration of prisoners, having their criminal record wiped clean by pardon services Canada, as well as the provision of temporary support services such as housing assistance and food stamps.

Family Networks

Prisoners who have a supportive network of family members tend to have a smoother reintegration process. By involving concerned family members in the process and helping ensure prisoners maintain strong relationships with their family while in jail, some states are improving their recidivism rates as well as ensuring adequate support for the prisoner. Family members can often help by providing prisoners with a place to stay after their release and by helping them to find employment. They also provide emotional support, which is an important part of helping prisoners avoid substance abuse and other issues that often led to their initial imprisonment.

Housing

Many studies show that up to 50 percent of recent parolees become homeless at some point after being released from prison. By lifting many of the bans that prevent individuals with drug felony convictions from being able to apply for government help with housing or food, states can help ensure that ex-prisoners have a safe place to live. Without a physical address, looking for a stable job can be impossible, which can compound the problem for many parolees. Programs that help ensure parolees have a stable place to live after leaving prison can help prisoners build a more successful life after leaving prison.

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JFK

Ask any middle aged American where they were when they heard President Kennedy got shot and they’ll probably be able to tell you. For many that Friday, November 22nd stands as one of the defining political moments in U.S. history; movies have been made about it, books have been written, t-shirts printed.
But it wasn’t just the grisly imagery of the assassination or the mystery surrounding what happened that that so deeply scarred Americans. With the death of Kennedy, the United States radically altered its political trajectory. Robert McNamara [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_McNamara] himself has stated that in the wake of the President’s 1963 speech about world peace at American University, Kennedy seriously considered pulling all American troops out of Vietnam. Lyndon B. Johnson, Kennedy’s hawkish vice-President and eventual replacement, not only overturned Kennedy’s decision to begin withdrawal from Vietnam, but began escalating the conflict. This decision would splinter the Democratic Party and the nation and pave the way for the ascendance of Richard Nixon and almost a decade of Republicanism.

Julius Ceasar

He came. He saw. He conquered. They killed him. Unfortunately, when the senators, led by Marcus Junius Brutus, finally gave Julius the stabbing of a lifetime, Caesar had already been declared “dictator in perpetuity”–a title that would make even the coldest of tyrants warm and fuzzy inside. The assassins who had wished to restore their glorious Republic had actually done the worst possible thing, ensuring that their democratic government disappeared.

In Caesar’s absence a power vacuum opened up. Civil war rocked Rome and when the dust settled not only had the Republic not been restored, but the people had set up autocracy with Gaius Octavianus, Caesar’s nephew, as the new emperor of Rome. Two years later Julius Ceasar was declared a deity, and the era of God Emperors had begun.

Benazir Bhutto

When Benazir Bhutto was assassinated the Pakistani people rioted for days. Twenty people died, cars were burnt and reports say rioters wrecked nine election offices, 176 banks and 34 gas stations.

Bhutto was the first woman ever elected to lead a Muslim state. She served as Pakistan’s first and only female Prime Minister from 1988-90 and 1993-96. In 1998 she fled to Dubai and spent almost a decade in exile because of corruption charges. Bhutto eventually returned to Pakistan in October 2007, after President Musharraf to run a third time for PM.

She campaigned on a platform of women’s social and health issues, and criticism of the Taliban. From the moment Bhutto stepped off the plane in Karachi she faced intimidation and death threats.

Bhutto was killed while standing up, waving to the massive crowds through the sunroof as her bulletproof car as she returned from a Pakistan Peoples Party rally. Someone fired into the crowd and explosives were detonated near the vehicle and Bhutto was killed. The international community saw the assassination as an attack on Pakistan’s democracy.

Franz Ferdinand

How many people could say that their death sparked a worldwide conflict? It wasn’t because he was so important or because he was such a nice guy, but the timing and circumstances surrounding the assassination of the Archduke Franz Ferdinand had the whole world at each others’ throats.

Ferdinand had the poor timing to die as the forces of nationalism, militarism, and imperialism were peaking in Europe. It could be argued that any dignitary of a similar rank killed around that time could have set off the chain of events that drove an entire continent to pick sides and declare war within the space of less than a year, that the increasingly modern nations in Europe were itching for a war. But be that as it may, Ferdinand holds the distinction.

Mahatma Gandhi

Mahatma Mohandas Gandhi was the epitome of a peaceful freedom fighter. He led India’s independence movement and pioneered a form of non-violent resistence that would inspire political activists for generations afterwards.

On January 1948 while out taking his regular walk around the Birla House in New Delhi Nathuram Godse, a Hindu nationalist extremist, shot Gandhi because he felt the pacifist was weakening the country. Gandhi had “fasted-unto-death” in order to end riots between the Muslim and Hindu factions that were fighting because problems surrounding the partitioning of India. When Gandhi died the nation went into mourning and India lost one of its seminal leaders.

Abraham Lincoln

Oh how many American school children have reenacted the assassination of Abraham Lincoln as part of their President’s Day ceremonies in the U.S.? Or maybe that’s just in the Simpsons. Regardless, the death of Lincoln at the hands of actor and confederate spy John Wilkes Booth was the first, but not the last, time a controversial American President was assassinated. But that’s not the only first to come out of this situation. It was also the first, but not the last, time a Vice-President would come to power and leave in disgrace.

After Lincoln’s death his Vice-President Andrew Johnson came to power. Johnson is often ranked as the worst president in American history and stands as the first U.S. President to be impeached.

Lincoln’s presidency had seen the emancipation of the slaves the end of the the Civil War and redefined Republicanism. His death made him a national martyr and probably help secure his position as one of the greatest presidents in U.S. history.

Patrice Lumumba

Lumumba was the first ever legally elected Prime Minister of the Republic of Congo. He was ardently anti-colonialist and helped his country gain independence from Belgium in 1960. Just 10 weeks after securing his country’s independence, however, Lumumba was deposed as PM, arrested and subsequently murdered.
After gaining independence, Lumumba decided not to raise the pay of army officers. Those in the military revolted and uprisings started all over the country. When the UN would not help him keep the peace, he turned to the Soviets for help.

Many historians agree that the detention and assassination of Lumumba was supported by both the U.S. and Belgian governments. Both governments feared that the Republic of Congo was falling to the communists. The Republic of Congo would remain unstable, seeing coups, assassinations and outside meddling for years to come.

Jorge Eliécer Gaitan

Colombia’s struggle for stability after independence was not a pretty one. The late 1800s were riddled with civil wars and political unrest. But after the Thousand Day Civil war, which ended in 1902, the country breathed a collective sigh of relief as things began to settle.

That is until Jorge Eliecer Gaitan, a liberal presidential candidate in the 1948 elections was assassinated. Gaitan was a populist leader and former Labour and Education Minister of Colombia who believed in changing the country from an oligarchy into a democracy.

His death in April of 1948 sparked a period in Colombian history referred to as La Violencia that lasted a decade and claimed the lives of close to 200,000 Colombians. The CIA is suspected of having a hand in Gaitan’s death, fearing the would-be President’s socialist ideals.

Anwar Sadat

Sadat stands as a controversial figure in Middle Eastern politics. During his 11 years a President of Egypt he reinstituted the multi-party political system in Egypt, liberalized the economy, engineered a peace treaty between Egypt and Israel and launched a war to regain the Sinai peninsula for Egypt.

Sadat is reviled by much of the Arab world for making peace with Israel and westernizing the country. Omar Abdel-Rahman, a cleric who was convicted in the U.S. for his role in the World Trade Center bombing in 1993 issued a fatwa on Sedat.

He was assassinated in October of 1981 during the country’s annual victory parade despite his four layers of security, the troop trucks accompanying him and the Mirage jets flying overhead. It was the first time in history that an Egyptian leader had been assassinated by one of their own.

José Antonio Remón Cantera

Remon Cantera was president of Panama at a critical point in the county’s history. Gaining the Presidency in 1952, he spent much of his term fighting to amend the Panama Canal treaty with President Eisenhower to raise the annual annuity paid to the Panamanian government by the U.S. and take back property from the Panama Canal Company. He was famous for his statement “Neither millions nor alms – we want justice” and fought to improve the treatment of Panama internationally.

Remon Cantera’s death is still shrouded in mystery to this day. He was gunned down by a machine gun in broad daylight at a race track in Panama City in January 1955. His murderer was never caught and CIA documents released recently claim that the President may have been assassinated by Lucky Luciano after Remon Cantera siezed a shipment of the gangster’s heroin.

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Turns out, the furry animal was a giant Golden Retriever, and the scream was actually the owner calling the dog back.  Now, as much as I’ve fantasized about going toe-to-toe with a wild animal, and which celebrity mask I’d wear after having my face eaten off, I’ve never been more relieved that my bear battle would have to wait another day.

The following is a collection of videos and images from people who weren’t so lucky, and who found themselves at the mercy of the wild (CAUTION:  SOME IMAGES AND VIDEOS ARE BRUTAL AND WILL DISTURB/GROSS OUT THE FAINT OF HEART)

(DON’ T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YOU!)

(I SWEAR TO GOD IF I READ ONE COMMENT ABOUT HOW GROSSED OUT OR DISTURBED YOU ARE…WELL.. I’M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING, EXCEPT SWALLOW MY RAGE, ONLY TO LET IT LOOSE ON AN UNSUSPECTING MAILBOX WHEN I’VE DRANK TOO MUCH WHISKEY.  SO FOR THE SAKE OF ALL MAILBOXES, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF)

Elephant Attack

Click here to view the embedded video.

Tiger Attack

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Crocodile Attack

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Killer Whale Attack

This girl is extremely lucky to be alive, especially when you see what killer whales like to do with their prey.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Leopard Attack

Click here to view the embedded video.

Moose Attack

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Buffalo Attack

Click here to view the embedded video.

Lion Attack

Not sure why this man was in the same cage as the lion. Right up there with shark water, lion’s cage is one place I ferociously try to avoid being in.  And by ferocious I mean I just don’t go near them.

Bull Attacks…everybody!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Polar Bear Attack

For more gruesome images of this attack which will haunt your soul for 6-8 weeks visit here.  For an image of a bear attack that your soul will never recover from, visit here.

Truth be told I love animals, ALL animals, and as much as I’m proud to have opposable thumbs, a forebrain and an iPhone, I feel guilt over how many animals we’ve needlessly killed, displaced, imprisoned, or trained to ride unicycles through rings of fire.  Which is why whenever I hear of an animal destroying a human, my money, my sympathies and my hi-fives are almost always on the side of the animals.  Sorry humans, but it’s great to see what natural abilities, strength and instincts can do us when we’re not cheating with our “intelligence” and our “weapons.”

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Tensions between the US and North Korea can be traced back to the Korean War when the US helped South Korea fight the communist forces. The fighting ended in 1953 with a truce; but a formal peace treaty has never been signed. In more recent times this tension has increased considerably after it was discovered that North Korea was developing a nuclear program that would enable it to produce nuclear weapons. Media reports indicate that they have reached the final phase in reprocessing spent fuel rods. When uranium is enriched to a high degree it becomes weapons-grade material. This resulted in international outrage and sanctions against North Korea. In May, 2009 North Korea announced that it had successfully conducted a second nuclear test in three years. The situation was taking a turn for the worse.

To add fuel to this already raging fire, North Korea has been conducting tests on their missile systems. In fact they have been testing long and medium-range missiles since 2006. Then in February 2009 North Korea made the announcement that they intended to launch a communications satellite into space. Due to their activity with nuclear weapons the US and South Korea did not believe the explanation given by North Korean that they were developing a space program. Months later in July, after they had conducted a nuclear test; North Korea successfully launched seven short-range missiles towards the Sea of Japan. This succeeded in again escalating the situation. All of this took place in the face of the UN’s ultimatum that North Korea stop work on the development of nuclear weapons.

The situation shows signs of improving at the moment. During September of 2009 US president Obama announced that he was willing to engage in direct talks with North Korea. Obama hopes to persuade North Korea to return to the six-nation party talks that they previously walked out of in protest. These negotiations were started to bring the disagreement to a peaceful conclusion.

Hopefully calmer minds prevail at these discussions so that a rational conclusion can be reached. The alternative to a peaceful settlement in this case is one that can only lead to massive losses on all sides.

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Once you’re wondering about physical human abilities, you’ll be pleased to know that not only are our opposable thumbs the key to important weapon grips, but we actually have the most accurate throw in the animal kingdom (elephants are actually pretty decent with their trunks, too). Of course, an advantage of range works fine against animals, but against other humans, you can suffer the same death-from-a-distance fate.

Below is an infographic to give you a sense of the distances some of humanity’s most famous ranged weapons could reach, and below that, a bit of a tour of what they do and what they’ve done. I’ve left out a lot of very cool ranged weapons like the shuriken, the dart, the throwing axe, guns, cannons, and others, but I think the ones I chose cover a nice range of… range.

Javelin/Spear

Although a projectile classic, the javelin is the only weapon on the list that doesn’t need to go airborne to be useful. It is indeed a nicely-ranged melee weapon, but with a good throw a javelin can pierce an enemy 30m away. We know the javelin more familiarly as an Olympic event, as part of a decathlon. Of course, the overwhelming majority of -athlon events are derived from their respective military histories.

English Longbow

The bow and arrow has been a go-to ranged weapon for thousands of years, touching hunting and warfare all over the world. But when you think of the bow and of range, nothing is more iconic than the British longbow. Made most famous at the Battle of Agincourt during the Hundred Years War, it was most effective with a mass of longbowmen raining arrows over an advancing (in this case French) army. It was decently accurate at shorter ranges, but accuracy was and could be sacrificed when thousands of arrows were involved.

It’s hard to know exactly how far they could shoot, since none survived from the Hundred Years War until today. Indeed, despite taking up to four years to make, they weren’t designed to last, and were rather disposable, intended to be replaced. While archers are often seen as the pussies of the medieval battleground, firing a longbow wasn’t easy, and typically an archer would shoot a maximum of four arrows per minute, and you’d have to be in good shape to be effective.

Trebuchet

If you’re ever looking to launch 350 lbs in style, look no further than the trebuchet. Probably the classiest of the catapult family, the launcher works by the dropping of a counterweight that whips the launching arm forward. Catapults do come in many shapes and sizes and with different ranges, but the trebuchet is one of the most famous due to its mechanisms that allow greater range, and its ability to launch objects as huge as used trucks.

Not as much designed to land on people (wouldn’t that suck), the trebuchet was mainly a siege weapon, designed to launch over stone walls as opposed to onagers that would try to knock down the walls. Other uses involve launching corpses over the wall to spread plague, and, presumably, creep the crap out of enemies.

Here’s a video of some rich English jackass wasting pianos by setting them on fire and launghing them with a trebuchet:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Sling

The sling is probably the most underrated projectile weapon in the list. While it can’t keep the size or shape of projectile of some of the others, it gets fantastic range. Essentially, the sling acts as an extended arm, so when you think of it launching, imagine a massive dude with arms as long as a normal person’s arms plus the length of the sling. Get your technique down, and you can coast with your old-school rock launcher. It’s also pretty low budget and doesn’t take a genius to fashion.

Here’s a pretty cool video of a sling in action, though not nearly at the max range:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Ballista

While longbows replaced the piercing target aspect of the ballista, and trebuchets and other catapult-like weapons replaced it on the siege front, the ballista remains a rather hardcore piece of ranged weapon history. Ancient Greeks were the first to make good use of them, and use continued through the Roman Empire, fading as the empire faded.

Paris Gun

The Paris gun was used by Germans (in Germany) during World War I to shell Paris. Based on naval guns, the range was so unexpected that the French were convinced they had been bombed by a zeppelin or something, even though the skies were empty.

The gun was dismantled before allies could capture it, so don’t expect to see plans for how to build one yourself. After the Paris Gun’s era, longe range warfare switch from big guns to rockets.

Surface-to-Surface Missiles

The first surface-to-surface missile was the German Fieseler Fi 103, or V1, used in the Second World War, although rocket technology did exist as early as the 13th century. Since then, they have evolved to the globe-spanning monsters of projectile mayhem that they are today. It’s one thing to dominate a battlefield with range, but the word “intercontinental” in the name of a weapon brings up a whole new kind of fear.

Of course missiles come in air-to-air, surface-to-air, and other place-to-place combination forms, but to keep on an even playing field with the other weapons for range’s sake, I’ve limited the scope to surface-to-surface alone.
Some surface-to-surface destruction:

Click here to view the embedded video.

There you have it. So the next time you hear of psychoboy Kim Jong-Il testing out a new missile, shudder as normal, but do remember how far we’ve come, and how far we’ve launched.

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Note: There are many other examples of drugs in other conflicts, like amphetamine-pumped child soldiers in Sierra Leone, but this list covers mainly global conflicts.

Napoleonic Wars

French & British

The harsh discipline that came with serving during the Napoleonic wars was counterbalanced by the regular consumption of alcohol. Alcohol became very important for maintaining morale and discipline in the army. Army officials knew that if they attempted to regulate alcohol use they would be met with insurmountable resistance. Alcohol was the only way soldiers could escape. Many soldiers would spend their entire month’s wages on alcohol.

Officers had standing orders to avoid drunken privates since they would often attack their superiors. These orders lasted until the end of the war.

Source: British Military Spectacle: From the Napoleonic Wars through the Crimea by Scott Myerly

World War I

British

Part of a daily ration for the average British soldier included a half-gill of rum which is the equivalent of a eighth of a pint. Additional rations of rum were occasionally served prior to soldiers ‘going over’ (The term used for exiting the trench to advance on the enemy.) The amount given was at the discretion of the standing general.

Germans

German soldiers had a worse diet in terms of food but a much more varied diet when it came to alcohol. German soldiers had a daily ration that included a pint of beer, half a pint of wine and a quarter pint of spirits.

World War II

Germans

Drug use in World War II is easily the most institutionalized in recorded history. This was especially true for German military. The drug of choice for the German army was a methamphetamine designed to keep soldiers alert and functional for several hours/days. 35 million tablets of methamphetamine were shipped to the army and air force between just April and July 1940 alone. These methamphetamines were later banned in 1941 under the Opium Law but despite the ban a shipment of over 10 million tablets was sent to soldiers later that year.

Germans & Americans

The use of alcohol was also encouraged by the military. Alcohol became a crutch for many of the men serving at the time. This prevalent and habitual use of alcohol led to many otherwise preventable deaths and injuries. Production of bootlegged alcohol became a serious issue as many producers didn’t know the difference between consumable alcohol and methyl alcohol. Men who consumed spirits made with methyl alcohol became blind or succumbed to fatal alcohol poisoning. [Source]

Vietnam War

Americans

The drug of choice of American soldiers during the Vietnam War was marijuana. For a majority of the war, marijuana use was largely ignored by army officials. In 1968 a major government initiative forced the army the crack down on marijuana use. By this point the use of the drug had become far too prevalent for the army to effectively combat. Army arrests had reached 1000 per week at its height and treatment centers were inundated.

The army began a massive anti-marijuana propaganda campaign to try and curb its use among soldiers. Officials claimed it would cause harmful long-term psychological effects.

The main concern was that the use of marijuana was affecting missions. What many politicians and anti-marijuana lobbyists didn’t realize is that there was internal policing of marijuana use by the soldiers themselves. Marijuana did not affect military operations because it was only used in non-combat situations. The soldiers knew their lives were on the line and if men in their unit were using marijuana in combat situation it would compromise their safety. [Source]

Iraq II & Afghanistan

Americans

The statistics provided by the US military regarding the drug and alcohol abuse by soldiers is universally viewed as a gross misrepresentation of the actual problem that the military faces. Substance abuse is steadily on the rise and soldiers are returning home with life-altering drug addictions.

As it stands, there is a blanket ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ policy in the army and there are vastly differing opinions concerning drug use from one level of authority to the next. Medics are generally known to be the ‘dealers’ and as a soldier they’re your best bet if you’re looking to get drugs of any kind. [Source]

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