Highest Five

I recently took on the daunting task of cleaning out my attic. The reason that I put myself through this torturous job was because the accumulation of many years worth of junk had my wife worried sick that our bedroom roof might collapse. One box that I found brought back many happy childhood memories for me. This box was the one with all of my boyscout material; books, badges, Swiss army knife, used ammunition etc.  I used to really enjoy being a part of a club with a bunch of other kids who liked to go camping and do other fun activities. This led me to wonder about the types of adult clubs that were out there; and because I am a little twisted I started thinking about some of the strangest ones that I have heard about. It has been four days since that incident and now that I have finally finished clearing out the attic I have a new job to do. I want to find some of the strangest cult followings that humans have joined.

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So many of my favourite things on earth are red: Ketchup, little riding hoods, etch a sketches…the list is endless. But at the top of my list is the flowing, fiery hair atop those fair, freckled females known as redheads, or gingers. I suffered my first heart break at the hands of one back in high school. At 12-years old I had already acquired a taste for older women. She was 14. Her name was Corrina Lee. How ‘effin perfect is that? Whenever she passed me in a hallway my insides would turn to pudding, while my pudding would retain its chemical composition. One day I summoned all the courage I could muster, equal parts summoning, equal parts mustering, and I handed her a letter. In it I confessed how “neat” I thought she was and how “cool” it would be if we “could” go out sometime. A few days later she wrote back. All the letter said was “You’re going to die alone.” Okay, actually what it said was “I’m flattered but I already have a boyfriend”, but what it said and how I felt were two, very different things.  I had the perfect gold ring picked out for her and everything!  Okay I was obsessed.   The following is a list of my favorite Corrina Lees of the world, hope you enjoy!

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