Highest Five

On a rainy Sunday afternoon, my girlfriend and I decided to pop in a movie. We both wanted to broaden the other’s horizons with a movie we’ve never seen before; I wanted her to see True Romance, she wanted me to see Mean Girls.  Despite my best efforts, trying to win her over by saying things like “Quenten Tarantino, Christian Slater, Patricia Arquette, Dennis Hopper, Samuel L. Jackson, Christopher Walken, Bronson Pinchot, Michael Rapaport, Brad Pitt, James Gandolfini, Chris Penn, Tom Sizemore, Gary Oleman as a Rastafarian pimp and Val Kilmer as Elvis,”  she was having none of it.  She accused my movie of “sounding too violent,” which was odd, because if we’re going by titles alone, hers seems like the more violent choice. So we watched Mean Girls, and I have to say it was surprisingly funny! But I also have to say “sad” at the same time.  While True Romance is riddled with crime, the sexy star of Mean Girls is going to jail in real life.   Oh Lindsay!  Why?  Why did you have to get so caught up in the booze and the drugs, destroying your reputation, your future and not to mention that beautiful body of yours? You had so much promise, now there are photos of you looking like Gollum!

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Ribs.  Unless they’re slathered with tangy barbecue sauce and served next to some garlic-mashed potatoes, I don’t wanna see ‘em.  It makes me sad to hear that women compare themselves to runway models and the scrawny celebs they see in magazines and feel fat.  They’ll practically starve themselves skinny, forgetting one very important thing:  most men don’t like skinny!  We’re not saying that women should replace their salads with KFC skins and stop exercising. We respect healthy.  But we also love curves, hips, something we can grab onto and never let go!  Seriously ladies, while flipping through the channels and I came across a runway fashion show, felt like I was watching a Tim Burton film: bunch of hollow-eyed, brittle-boned skeletons fluttering across the runway, amazing everyone as their spindly frames withstand the flashing cameras, wearing outfits taken straight out of our darkest nightmares.

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There is nothing more dead-sexy than a beautiful girl with brains, but add a  geeky side and we are talking a whole new dimension of shwing! Let us honour beautiful babes, and pay tribute to some of the world’s sexiest geeks.

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Reality television has been like a television bug repellent for me  in the last few years. Aside for the shows I watch online or rent, you’ll never hear me saying “sorry I can’t come. I need to stay home and watch …” But it doesn’t mean that I don’t miss it. Though more and more people are tuning-in to their computers for entertainment, every few years incredible shows come along that push the limits of television and keep audiences hooked from beginning to end. After getting a peak at some of the shows to come, I think it may be time to contact my local cable provider…

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After spending the last nine years living with musicians, I can say with confidence the Montreal music scene more than just alive and well; it’s kicking. It’s hard to believe how many venues, festivals and concerts pump the sounds of so many talented individuals, nearly all within walking distance from one other on this tiny island.

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Last week I covered Open Mics, Writing Everything down, Setting a date in Get Started as a Stand up Comedian Pt.1 Here is second and final part in the series written by comedian Dan Bingham.

Step 3: Practice

From my experience this is the most helpful tool for overcoming stage fright, for calming your nerves, and for succeeding on stage. You will no doubt be terrified for the entire day before grabbing the mic for the first time. Your stomach will be in knots, your palms will be dripping, and your heart will be pounding. There’s some good news and bad news. The bad news: the nervousness might never go away.

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“I once read that public speaking is people’s number one fear, even above death! That means at a funeral, you’d rather be the one inside the coffin than the one giving the eulogy.” – Jerry Seinfeld

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